AUB Student Council Lobby for Absinthe on Campus
Absinthe is a highly alcoholic (70%) drinkable liquid that gives you wings and students all across faculties at AUB have found that it is important to have such a beverage in the New and Improved American Corporation Style Globalized Cafeteria. In fact, it is so important for student life and academic advancement that the Student Council has created a lobby to push forward the proposal of having Absinthe on campus in a Student-Friendly bottle or barrel or keg. The Student Council has been researching and testing the markets all around the world and have found the perfect Absinthe Beverage of Awesomeness. This beverage is called SIX DEGREES.
Six Degrees is a bottled 18% Absinthe based beverage. The Student Council have tested the product and found out that only two bottles can give AUB students the needed academic advancement needed. The testing procedure was done on campus in an undisclosed house study group.
“Results have been of supreme efficiency. It’s the perfect combination of Academic Advancement, Absinthe and love…[…]”, said a member of the Student Council, however, the member was no longer available after he drank the third Six Degrees Beverage.
In the official proposal that is sent to the AUB Alcohol Acquirement Committee, there were five main argument:
1) Absinthe is a liquid substance that contain many nutritional benefits and is mentioned in the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights,
2) As such, Absinthe is an essential Human Right,
3) Absinthe will enhance student’s bodily and mind functions, in effect, AUB will perform more effectively in academia.
4) Absinthe will bring closer, hence AUB will enjoy a vibrant social, multi-cultural and efficient experience
5) Students want it really bad and if they don’t get it, they will boycott
For more information about Six Degrees, feel free to contact their Official Officer at firstname.lastname@example.org.